Before I start spilling my guts on things you probably could live your entire life without knowing, here are a few comparison pictures:
On the right is one of my least, least, absolutely least favorite photos of me. Ever. I remember being tagged in it and cringing SO bad. “WHY are my legs so huge? HOW many rolls can my side have? WHAT is going on with my arm fat? HOW COME THERE ARE SO MANY CHINS???” That was a fun night celebrating a friend but I remember being so worried I couldn’t squeeze into my size 22 jeans and that I was going to split a seam in the jacket that Alex had bought me. I was worried so much about how I’d fit into my clothes and not enjoying everything as much as I could have been. Then, the tagged photo hit and it cemented everything I’d been feeling about myself. Yuck.
Now, on the right- I’m in size 12 jeans (still not over that) and feeling much less picky-a-part-y on my pictures. I don’t think I need a wide shoe anymore (wide width boots are still a must, sigh~) because I can slip in and out of the booties here without unzipping them. Who knew my feet would lose so much fluff, too?
And here with the faces. What even. Who is that girl with the tiny chipmunk mouth???? Weird.
Now, the oversharing part you’re dying to read- I’ve basically been on my period ALMOST non-stop since surgery. I’m 6 days away from being 3 months post-op and have had a week or so without CONSTANTLY having my period. I know this is a common thing for people that have lost lots of weight and those that have had weight loss surgery. Basically, my body is freaking out and this is what it’s decided to do. I can’t do a whole lot about it besides just constantly be prepared. Some days it’s a ton and some days I think, Oh! It’s gone! Except it’s not. Hardly ever. I think this has something to do with why I’ve been sleeping SO HARD at night.
When I finally crash at the end of the day, I’m sleeping SOUND. No middle of the night wake ups, no tossing and turning.. just dead asleep. It’s nice but also kind of scary. I’ve been a little nervous that I’ll fall asleep before I set an alarm- or worse, sleep through my alarm. This hasn’t happened, but it’s always in the back of my mind. I haven’t had any issues waking up in the morning… once I’m up, I’m up. But, I’ve been sleeping like a champ.
Next on the oversharing list is the fact that I’ve got a lot of extra jiggly skin now. I mean, not that I was perfectly toned before (HA) but it’s even more noticeable (to me) and even more jiggly than pre-op. It’s on my stomach, my arms, my thighs… lots of skin, doin’ what it does best, just being there. I’m in a few support groups for weight loss surgery patients and hear lots of people who are considering surgery mention their main hesitation for finally taking the plunge is that they’ll have excess skin. If through my weight loss, my excess skin DOUBLES- I’d still have done it again in a heart beat. Sure, nobody really needs to see my tummy/arms/thighs flapping in the breeze, but to feel a million times better- I think it’s worth it. Who cares? I’d rather have extra wobbly looking arms than to be obese. It’s easy to cling to jiggly skin as an excuse to not take the next step. If you’re thinking about having surgery and are worried about lose skin… don’t. Every minute of every day I’ll take a little more jiggle to be healthy.
Finally- vitamins. I hate taking them. I forget and then just don’t. I have several bottles at home and at work. I just can’t bring myself to take them regularly. I haven’t gotten my blood work done yet because I keep telling myself, “You’ll take them like you’re supposed to tomorrow!” and then I don’t. I HAVE TO GET BETTER ABOUT THIS. Vitamins aren’t optional. I know hair loss is eminent. I know my body needs them. Getting protein in is easy. Getting water in is easy. Taking a truck load of vitamins shouldn’t be so hard. At night it’s easier because I can munch on a string cheese and take a few while watching an episode of Law and Order: SVU (you can’t just pop them all at once). Building new habits is hard.
Right now I’m supposed to be taking a multi vitamin twice a day, a calcium with vitamin D twice a day, biotin and vitamin B & B12. I also try to take a fish oil because my mom says they’re good for me. When I schedule my blood work, I’ll report back. Hopefully my major lapses in vitamin intake hasn’t hurt too much and nothing is horribly out of whack.
Until then, I’ll keep up with the string cheese and SVU.