Last Night With A Full Stomach

Tomorrow is surgery day! I’ve been physically preparing for weeks, mentally preparing for months and hopeful that it would happen for lots longer than that.

My brain feels like it is in 1,000 different directions right now. Here is a small glimpse in:
-I’m SO sick of clear liquids
-Trader Joe’s should do peony sales more often
-I can’t forget to take my nail polish off for tomorrow
-Did I set an out of office message yet?
-Can’t forget surgical soap tonight
-How much water have I had today?
-Have I triple checked my hospital backpack?
-How am I going to get my industrial and tragus piercings back in?
-I wonder what the dogs are doing
-Did I overspend at Market?
-Why didn’t I buy that bag?
-Still tired of clear liquids
-I think it would be really fun to eat something
-When am I going to get my car fixed?
-How will it feel to wake up at 4:30 tomorrow?
-I wonder if I’ll lose any more weight ¬†between here and tomorrow
-I wonder how many inches I’ve lost on my liquid diet

The last two days have been a whirl wind. I’ve been on clear liquids only and am REALLY feeling over it. Having soup in the full liquid stage helped me feel less blah about “food”. I’ve been living on these guys:

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Honestly, they’re not the worst. However, I’ll be happy to never drink one again. They taste like melted jello. Weird and thick. They don’t taste awful and certainly don’t taste great BUT 40 grams of protein is hard to beat. I’ve only felt hungry once the last two days. That is so bizarre for me! I’m used to feeling hungry ALL the time! They certainly aren’t a joke… they’ve done a great job of doing what they’re supposed to.

Nearly two full weeks of no nicotine, caffeine or alcohol and all I really feel is that it would be nice¬†to have those things. I don’t crave any of them. I’m ok without them. It would just be reaaaally nice to have them. I definitely don’t need any of it- just sort of miss it. I don’t intend to bring nicotine back in, but certainly don’t want alcohol to be as regular a part of my life as it was before. Drinking and overeating are a very familiar combination for me.

On that note- 20lbs down as of today! 20lbs in 2 weeks! Wild.

Several people in my support group have mentioned that their last day pre-op was a miserable one. I feel really sad for all of them! Today has been a great day! I got lots of laundry done, had a fabulous friend help finish the housecleaning, and then went to spend the day with a few of my favorite people at the Dallas World Trade Center! We walked around for hours checking out makeup, clothes, jewelry, home goods, and my VERY FAVORITE- lighting! There’s just something magic about a good light fixture.

I’m tired, have new glorious jewelry and couldn’t have hoped for a better day.
-Alee

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